


Still Holding Out For You

by DarkAngelGirl13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-20
Updated: 2011-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-21 14:25:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAngelGirl13/pseuds/DarkAngelGirl13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a three shot song fic/story. Second Chatper is Sam's third is Cassie's about Dean and the fourth is John's about Mary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> This just came to me as I was listening to the song by Shedaisy. The song belongs to them along with the lyrics and Dean, Sam, John, Cassie, Mary and Jess all belong to the CW and anything else that looks familiar is all theirs.

I couldn't resist posting this after I had written it. I hope you all enjoy it and I'm putting the actual song on this page. The rest the pages have it broken up and following a section is Sam's, Cassie's, or John's feelings about somebody that they have lost. Cassie's section is really about Dean, but it is centered on them both. Please review and tell me if you like this story.

Still holding out for you – Shedaisy

Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie  
The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down and then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me good-bye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
And pray I get the chance one day

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

 

I can hear you smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing  
But daylight chases the ghosts  
I see your coat and I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging  
Now's when I need them most  
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead  
At least that's what you would have said

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before

 

Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Holding out  
Holding out for you


	2. Sam and Jess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and his feelings after Jess's death

Still holding out for you – Shedaisy

Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie  
The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down and then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me good-bye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
And pray I get the chance one day

Sam watched as the apartment that him and his girlfriend has shared when up in flames. He wished he could turn the time back and so things differently maybe tell her the truth, or not have left with Dean, but that would have done anything to help him. He stood there letting the tears fall as he thought about not getting to tell her that he loved her before she died. Sam thought about the way he left and not giving her a real kiss good-bye. He held back trying not to break as he thought about the ring he'd looked at and the fact that it would been so beautiful on her left hand. He choked back the tears as he load the guns thinking that he didn't get to tell her he wanted to marry her. He just wished that one dad he could tell her some how, but he knew that would never happen and as Dean came over to him he new that life was over

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to

 

I'm still holding out for you

 

Sam woke up in a cold sweat looking around the room he sat up thinking that Jess would be beside him, but she wasn't and he got up going to the bathroom splashing water on his face. "She's gone," he told himself, but his heart wouldn't listen. In his dreams he still called out for her and he still waited for her to come back to him. However when he woke up and the only person in the room was his older brother he knew it was all a dream.

I can hear you smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing  
But daylight chases the ghosts  
I see your coat and I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging  
Now's when I need them most  
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead  
At least that's what you would have said

Sam knew that Dean was right he knew that he should move on and try to put Jessica in the past, but he couldn't not now he couldn't maybe some day, but for now every time he woke up with a nightmare about that night he thought he heard her laughing and smiling. If he laid real still he thought he could still feel her breathing against him as he slept. The daylight all these things weren't there it was like the moon was the only thing that could bring out these feelings that he had. Just looking at the coat he wore made him think of her and the day he'd let her borrow it because it was poring down the rain and he didn't want her to get wet. He thought he could still smell her if he tried hard enough and he clung to that hoping that it would help him in the end. He watched as the sun set and the moon continued to rise he needed the good memories right now the most because this is when he hurt the most. He knew that if Jess was here now she'd tell him to move on just like Dean had, tell him to stop mooring something he couldn't change, that's what she would told him and he knew it.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around

 

Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel

Writing her name sometimes at night or when he felt like she was there that was the real way he tried to move on even if it wasn't enough it kept her there for him and that was enough for the time being.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Two years it had been since his girlfriend's death and Sam stood over the body of the demon that had killed his family, the demon that had took his mom and girlfriend from him. He listened as his brother spoke telling him it was for their mom and he silent thought 'this is for you too Jessica'

Holding out  
Holding out for you


	3. Cassie and Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is Dean's, but it's about how Cassie feels about him dying

Still Holding Out For You – Shedaisy

Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie  
The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down and then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me good-bye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
And pray I get the chance one day

 

Cassie couldn't believe or rather didn't want to believe what she had just been told. She didn't want to believe that the man she had hoped would come back to her was really dead. She wished it was all a lie and she could wake up from this nightmare. She wished that she hadn't let him leave the safety of her arms. She didn't get to kiss him before he died, she didn't get to say that she loved him and that she would always love him. Sam told her that he was still looking for away for Dean to come back from hell and she prayed that he found away so she could tell him the way she felt about him.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

 

She picked up the phone only to put it down again telling herself that Dean was dead. She wished that her heart would let him go, but he still was there imprinted for life. Dean had been the one man that she couldn't let go of and she wished that her heart would let him go. Nevertheless, as she placed the phone back on the hook and sat down she knew she'd still hold out for Dean and hold out for him coming back.

I can hear you smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing  
But daylight chases the ghosts  
I see your coat and I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging  
Now's when I need them most  
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead  
At least that's what you would have said

 

It was midnight and Cassie lay awake, she knew what had woken her up, the same thing that woke her up this time every night. It was the sound of Dean's voice she could hear him talking and laughing and the image of his smile broke into her mind. She felt him as she sleep at night and sometimes she could roll over and could swear that he was still there telling her that it was okay. Come morning the feeling would be gone and she'd have to face the day alone. Just looking at his old leather jacket that Sam had given her made her cry and she'd stay there clinging to the only thing that remained of her husband. She knew that Dean would have made some sarcastic joke about no chick flick moments, but she didn't care.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel

The rain pours down as she writes his name on the fogged up window. Wishing that he was there with her at the moment, this being the only comfort she can have as she watches the storm carry on outside not letting her have the peace of mind that she wants.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before

 

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Four months, twenty-two hours, and how knows how many minutes she wakes finding Sam coming in the house again like he always does when he come here. But today is different today he smiles before opening the door all the way and reveling that after the months of being alone that some how Dean was back, he looked different, but she had him there. She hugged him and smiled as she realized that she didn't have to wait any more, but then again, he wasn't the same Dean as he had once been. She continued hugging him silently hoping that he'd come back to her completely.

Holding out  
Holding out for you


	4. John and Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's feelings about Mary's Death.

Still Holding Out For You – Shedaisy

Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie  
The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down and then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me good-bye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
And pray I get the chance one day

John lay awake watching his two boys from his place in some half junked motel room. Never in his life would he have thought he would be here, something had taken one of the three things that meant the world to him. They had taken his wife, his boys mother. He wished he could wake up and find out that it was all a nightmare that she was still alive and sleeping next to him. He wished that he'd been faster or something maybe he'd been laying beside her, but he wasn't and he knew it was the truth, he never got a farewell kiss from his beloved, he never got to see her again. He just hoped one day he got the chance to see her again and then it would finally be over.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

His heart still cried out for her hoping that she was there and when he woke up he wanted to see, her touch her, but that was not a choice anymore. He held a light inside his heart waiting for the day that he could get to see her again.

I can hear you smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing  
But daylight chases the ghosts  
I see your coat and I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging

 

Now's when I need them most  
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead  
At least that's what you would have said

The thought that he could hear her smile as she laughed about something that he'd done in the years prier. He could feel her breathing beside him as he slept some nights and he wanted to stay that way forever, but he new it was just his mind. The morning would come and the ghost that he felt left being replaced by reality. The only thing he had left from the fire that had been hers was a jacket she had worn that morning before the fire. He never throw it away he needed it some days not letting his boys see that he was weak, but he clung to the memory that was there.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel

Writing her name down sometimes could bring him comfort. Sometimes it felt like the only thing that could on the days that he thought he wasn't making a difference as he hunted for the thing that had taken her from them.

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before

I still run, I still swing open the door  
I still think, you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you

Twenty-three years and his own death later John Winchester meet up with his wife at the gates of heaven. He just hoped that he could come in after all the things that he'd done over the years the things that he'd done for his family. And when she took his hand and led him through the door he knew the waiting was over he'd finally found her again.

Holding out  
Holding out for you


End file.
